Swift Creek Baptist Church
Warm Hearted Church with a Heart Warming Message

Sermon notes prepared by Steve Felker, Pastor of Swift Creek Baptist Church; (c) 2000

"Anger and Reconciliation"
Matthew 5:21-26

    Intro. Many people were shocked this past week with the news of another school murder. This time, a 6-year-old boy killed classmate Kayla Rolland with a gun. This was a day after the two apparently had scuffled on the playground at Buell Elementary School. The boy became angry with the girl, went home and found a gun, returned the next day and shot her once in the chest! She died an half hour later. The sheriff said the father told him that when he asked his son why he fought with other children, the boy "told him that he hated them." [The Associated Press] We were also disturbed to hear of a gunman killing several people this week in racially motivated attacks. Anger, animosity, hatred, and murder is spreading throughout society, even to our children as young as 6. When is someone going to stand up and say, "The solution is not political. It’s not to be found in more laws. The solution is not economic. The real solution is spiritual."

    Last Sunday I gave an overview of this whole section of the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus pointed out that the religious leaders of His day were making the 10 commandments just an external legal code. In contrast, Jesus shows here that God’s Law can be broken with the heart, and not just with the hand. For example, Jesus is saying here that murder, and the law of murder, does not just deal with your outward actions. You can commit murder in your heart with the wrong kind of anger. You can murder someone’s name and reputation with what you say to or about them.

    Now this morning we are going to look into the subject of anger, which is the root of murder and other sins. The word "angry" (orgidzo) is a strong word, and it means to be wrathful. Anger often boils over into hatred. The apostle John said, "Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer. . ." (1 Jn. 3:15a). There is such a thing as righteous anger. God is characterized a number of times in the Bible with this kind of anger. The Bible says He is angry with the wicked every day. On a few occasions Jesus exhibited this kind of anger (eg. John 2:13-17). Some of us ought to learn how to express a little bit of righteous indignation about some of the things that are going on in our country, our churches, and our schools. But we ought to have the kind of anger that is not sin. The Bible says, "Be ye angry, and sin not . . ." (Eph. 4:26a). There is a right kind of anger. However, the anger Jesus is talking about here in verse 22 is selfish, sinful anger that is directed toward another person in a hostile fashion.

So this morning we are going to talk about an issue that is right where we all live. It is my prayer that the words of Jesus will have a great impact upon our lives, and upon our church, for the better. Let’s understand first of all:

I. The Rise of SINFUL Anger

    In our text today our Lord gives four levels of anger. Anger will be manifested in the following ways. First of all, it may begin with:

        A. Unexpressed Anger (v.22a) – As I have indicated, the word used here in our text refers to a wrathful anger. But it is based on a word that usually refers to a settled, ongoing anger, not a temporary case of loosing your temper. It refers to a smoldering, long-lived kind of anger, for the most part. It means seething hostility. It means malice in the heart. It is when you bitterly hold a grudge against somebody. It is when you have hostile feelings toward someone every time you hear their name or see them. It is the kind of anger that sort of breeds and grows and gets infected, and you just hold revenge as your main goal. You say in your heart, "I’m going to get even!" It is interesting to me that the same word is found in Luke 15:28 of the attitude of the elder brother in the story of the prodigal son. He did not rejoice at the party for his brother who had come home. Instead, he was withdrawn, sulking, mad at his father, brother, and others.

Now if you don’t deal with this anger in your heart, you will usually move to the next level of anger:

        B. Calling Someone Stupid (v.22a) – As I said last week, anger would usually move from the heart to the mouth. "Raca," is probably Aramaic and means, "You blockhead" or "You empty-head" or "You idiot." This is an attack on somebody's mental ability. Though we are not sure exactly what it means, we do know that it was intended as a verbal expression of slander and contempt against a person. It is a sneer. It is a slur. And if you don’t deal with your anger, you will not be content to call someone stupid. You will move on to the next step of:

        C. Calling Someone a Fool (v.22b) - The word "fool" is a term of contempt for a person's character. Apparently, this was even a worse thing to say to somebody. The Greek word is moros. We get our word "moron" from this word. Haven’t you heard some say, "You moron!" So when spoken in anger, this is similar to a curse word, it is sinful & murderous indeed. Have you ever cursed anybody?

    But on the other hand, we should not take this out of context and say that the word is never to be spoken to someone as a spiritual warning from God. From a Hebrew perspective, a fool was one who rebelled against God. When Jesus said to the Pharisees, "Ye fools…" (Mt. 23:17), it wasn't wrong for Him to say that, because it was true. They were fools who had rebelled against God. The ultimate rebellion is mentioned in Psalm 14:1: 'The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. . . ." Calling a hell-bound sinner a fool might be doing him a favor, if you also show him the way of salvation!

[By the way, one main reason for anger is a cynical mistrust of others. We become angry when we have a cynical suspicion of the motives of other people. As we see in our text, this causes you to question their mentality or moral character.]

Finally, if you don’t resolve your anger, you could move on to the next step of:

        D. Committing Physical Murder (v.21) – I’m sure there are many people on death row who never thought they would commit murder, but because of unresolved anger, they did. The story of Cain and Abel is an example of jealous anger leading to murder. Anger and hot-headedness may have caused as many deaths as deliberate and malicious intentions.

So I hope we understand from our Lord Jesus more about the rise of sinful anger. This should serve as a warning to us. But we also need to understand:

II. The Results of SINFUL Anger

    There is a plethora of negative consequences from sinful anger. First of all, there will be:

        A. Personal Consequences

            1. Health Consequences – Do you realize that anger has adverse health consequences, especially if it is not resolved quickly? Adrenaline and other stress hormones will be pumped into your system. Your blood pressure and heart rate will rise. The rate and depth of your breathing will increase. The muscles of your arms and legs will tighten. You will become more aggressive. You will be under more stress. Over time, unresolved anger will contribute toward heart disease and other life-threatening illnesses. [Redford Williams, M.D., "Your Anger Can Kill You," Reader’s Digest].

            2. Legal Consequences – Our Lord gives 2 levels of legal consequences here. First, the word "judgment" probably refers to the local court of the synagogue. Jesus also refers to the local court system in vv. 25-26. There have been so many people who end up in court and in jail because they could not or would not control their anger! Then, the word "council" refers to the Sanhedrin, the Supreme Court of Israel. Anger is such a foolish thing. It makes us destroyers instead of builders. It robs us of freedom and makes us prisoners. You better deal with that anger while you can because it will get to a certain stage where it's gone too far and you can't seem to pull it back. The legal consequences of anger are still with us today in our Virginia Legal code. For example, using insulting words in conjunction with a confrontation with someone is a class 1 misdemeanor, which can get you up to 1 year in jail and/or up to a $2500 file. Also, verbal assault with just words and touching is also a class 1 misdemeanor with the same potential consequences [Source: attorney Jim DeBoer].

    He's saying, on this highway of life, when we have our disagreements and our problems with one another we need to settle those things out of court. All of us are heading to court. The lost man is heading to the Great White Throne Judgment. The saved man is heading to the Judgment Seat Of Christ. As we journey toward court, the Bible says we ought to settle everything we can before we get to court. Once you get to God’s court, it will be to late to change the outcome!

            3. Eternal Consequences (v.22b) – Jesus warns here that if you allow anger to rise and rise in your heart, you "shall be in danger of hell fire." Literally, it is the "fire of Gehenna," a reference to the Valley of Hinnom, south of Jerusalem, where the garbage dump was. It was always burning. Bodies of criminals would be cast into that burning dump. Jesus says, "That’s a picture of the eternal hell that all murderers will go to," and if you have hatred in your heart, that shows that you have never truly been saved, and you are in danger of going to hell!

    One main point of Jesus in this whole context is that the Law, properly interpreted & applied, shows the sinfulness of the human heart. Anger that issues forth in such ugly words can indicate an unconverted, unrepentant heart. In Matthew 15:19 Jesus said, "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders,…." Jesus warns that such a spiritual condition, apart from divine intervention, will lead a person to seal their eternal destiny in hell! Revelation 22:14-15 says, "Blessed are they that wash their robes, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city. For outside are dogs, and sorcerers, and fornicators, and murderers...." The Kingdom of God in its eternal state is not a place for murderers.

        B. Relational Consequences – How many marriages have broken up due to unresolved anger? How many parent/child relationships have been damaged by sinful anger on both sides? So many relationships, in so many realms of life, have been damaged or severed due to sinful anger. People have lost lifelong friends because they didn’t resolve their anger. Family and friends are too important to allow this sin to divide.

Finally, there are:

        C. Spiritual Consequences (vv.23-24) – Worship was a major issue with scribes and Pharisees. They were in the Temple often, supposedly worshiping God: making sacrifices and carrying out the law. Though their life was a circumscribed one of external worship, our Lord here condemns that very worship. Jesus says that reconciliation and obedience comes before worship. What a powerful point! The Bible says, "Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice" (1 Sam. 15:22). This shows that loving God and therefore bringing Him an offering, yet not loving the brother but remaining unreconciled, cannot go together. "If a person does not love the brother whom he has seen he cannot love God whom he has not seen" (I John 4:20b). I believe that every Sunday there are husbands and wives who come to church with bitterness between the two of them, and they try to worship God, in spite of the fact that He doesn't want anything to do with hypocritical worship. You can pray if you want, but Psalm 66:18 says, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me." There is no way you can worship God if ill feeling exists between you and another. I John 2:9 declares: "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother remains in darkness."

    Have you had trouble worshipping the Lord lately? Have you had trouble staying awake in church, praying like you should, and feeling the reality of God, even in your own quiet time? Perhaps the problem is not a vertical problem but a horizontal problem because I'll tell you something, you & I will never be right with God until we are right with our fellow Man. You are to settle the breach between man and man before you settle the breach between man and God. We will never be able to worship God and feel His presence as long as anger toward others has a foothold in our hearts.

    As you can see, it's a terrible price to pay to let anger in your heart. Life's too short for ill will, hostility and malice in your heart toward other people. Regardless of what some other individual has done to you, it doesn't justify you to have anger, malice, and ill will in your heart. That gives that person control over you and you're in a terrible prison when you let somebody else's actions control your actions. The Bible says, "Pay no man evil for evil." Right here in v.44 of our chapter today, Jesus says, "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."

So I hope that we you understand the rise of sinful anger, and the many terrible results of sinful anger, that you will seek:

III. The Reconciliation of Sinful Anger

    Now there are two sides to this reconciliation. First of all, let’s understand:

        A. What to Do When Someone Is Angry at You (v.23-24) – This is what Jesus deals with here. Jesus gives the picture here of a Jew going to the temple to offer sacrifice and worship God. In that sacred moment, while he is confessing his sins as part of the sacrificial ritual, a flash across his memory shows him a brother offended. Strictly according to the original Jesus said, "If…you remember that your brother has something against you…" The "something" (tis) must be of a nature important enough to be called a grievance. The next question is, "Must it be a righteous grievance, a just cause for complaint?" If I know that my brother even thinks that he has a right to be dissatisfied with me, should I not strive to be reconciled to him? Yes! And even though you may not feel angry toward him, you had better go and settle the issue. Reconciliation with someone is a very difficult thing to do. But regardless of that, when I know that reconciliation is needed, Jesus says that it is something that I must try to bring about. Knowing the terrible consequences of anger, my love for that brother will lead me to help him settle the issue in his life. So this is what we are to do:

            1. Recognize the Problem (v.23b) – You need to think about and recognize it when somebody is upset at you. Obviously there will be people angry with you that you are unaware of, and you can't run around asking everybody if they are mad at you. But there are other times when you do know somebody's angry with you. They’re not hiding it.

            2. Go and Talk to Them (v.24a) – Knowing the terrible consequences of unresolved anger, out of love for that person we should be willing to go and talk to them, and seek to resolve the problem. That is the first step. Often they have become angry at you due to a misunderstanding that can be cleared up through talking. Or perhaps they have received misinformation about you that they believed without even talking to you about it. So going and talking with them is the first step. Perhaps, once you talk about it, you will realize that you have done wrong, and you will have the opportunity to apologize and hopefully receive forgiveness.

    You may need to do more than talk. You may need to make things right. Essayist Frank Borham (?) decided to go on an imaginary journey back in time to the far country where the prodigal son wasted his substance on riotous living. You know how the story ended. He repented, came home to his loving father, and he was forgiven and restored. But what about the people back in the far country? In this imaginary journey, the author couldn’t hardly find anyone willing to talk to him about the prodigal. Everybody seemed to hate him. Finally, he found someone who agreed to talk. He told him of the wonderful way the prodigal had repented and changed his life. But this man was not moved. He said, "You tell me he has had his life straightened with his father and he has been forgiven?" The man said, "Absolutely." He said, "Well, do you see that teenage girl walking down the street with that baby in her arms? That prodigal fathered that girl's baby and that girl is my granddaughter. If he 's got his life straightened out, why doesn't he come back HERE and try to get some things straightened out with my granddaughter?" He said, "Do you see that man walking down the street over there and has one eye gouged out? He was in a fight with the prodigal. It cost him his eye in a gambling incident. Why don't he come back and try to make some restitution there and find the forgiveness of that man if he has gotten right with the father?" He said, "Do you see those three young boys already drunk and it is not noon yet... going down the street? They were clean cut citizens in our community until that boy came to town and he led them down the primrose path, and now their lives are in shambles." He said, "Tell him to come back and get things straightened out with young men he influenced and their families!"

    God doesn't want to hear our confession of sin and our shame and our tears and say, "Lord, forgive me" unless we are willing to go back to that man or that woman or that scene or that situation and make things right again.

            3. Don’t Delay (v.25a) – The time for reconciliation is always right now. Don't just wait until the "right time" for reconciliation to come, because tomorrow may be too late. Furthermore, Eph. 4:26 says, "Do not let the sun go down on your wrath." The longer we wait, the worse the bondage becomes!

            4. Be Generous and Gracious in Your Efforts (v.25a) – Don’t let a conflict with someone go unresolved. Have you ever had a legal conflict with somebody, which dragged out all the way to the court and was never settled out of court? My great-grandfather Felker was an attorney. He made the news in Georgia years ago because he kept fighting and continuing a case for 40 years! And he was a member of the First Baptist Church of Monroe, GA! I have a letter where his daughter begged him to drop the case, but he just wouldn’t do it. Look over to I Cor. 6:6-8 (read).

    These same passages also imply that when I have done all in my power to bring about a reconciliation, and the opponent still refuses to be fair, and where necessary to be forgiving, the guilt will rest on himself alone. Once you have done your part, your soul has been cleansed, and you can worship God acceptably.

        B. What to Do When You Are Angry at Someone Else – It’s interesting that vv. 21-22 deals with this situation, while verses 23-26 deals with the former situation. God’s people, on either end of anger, should take the initiative to resolve and reconcile the anger. So what are you to do when you have anger in your own heart? First of all:

            1. Recognize the Spiritual Issues – When we get angry, the first thing that we want to do is lash out at the person that we are angry at. But before we do that, we first need to recognize if our anger is righteous indignation, or if it is a sinful response. Anger is sinful when it is nothing more than a response to hurt pride or selfishness. And even righteous indignation can easily degenerate to sin when we become vengeful. And if your anger is sinful, then you need to deal with your own spiritual problem before you try to correct someone else. You need to pray and ask God to help you fulfill the command, "Be angry and sin not." Sinful anger must be faced honestly and must be confessed to God as sin. Ask God to help you not respond in any of the ways mentioned in vv.21-22.

Then, once you have recognized your anger as righteous indignation, and once you have dealt with any temptation to respond sinfully, then you move to the next step:

            2. Rebuke Your Brother or Sister – In Luke 17:3 Jesus said, "…If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him…." Sometimes someone does or says something that we don’t like, and we get angry at them, but they don’t even realize that they did anything wrong. If you are not willing to identify something as sin, and rebuke them to their face, then you have no right to be angry with them!

Now in that same Scripture, Jesus says that after you rebuke your brother, then next step is to:

            3. Forgive Your Brother or Sister – Jesus does not deal with forgiveness in our text, but if you skip over to chapter 6, vv. 14-15 we hear Jesus say "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." The apostle Paul wrote in Colossians 3:13, "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye."

    Irving Stone's little book Love Is Eternal has a beautiful little scene in there where Parker, the man who was suppose to be President Lincoln's bodyguard the night he was shot in Ford's Theatre, is speaking with Mary Todd, Lincoln's wife. And Mary Todd says to Parker, "Oh, I can't forgive you. Why didn't you watch the door? That was your job." Parker, a broken man, said, "Oh, I thought that no one would dare to kill such a good man as our president, especially in public." Mary Todd runs and falls into a pillow and begins to weep and cry and says, "Parker, Parker I'm so hurt and broken why didn't you watch that door?" Parker says nothing. Finally, through her tears she says, "Oh, I forgive you but I can't forgive that assassin." Little Todd Lincoln comes up. He says, "If my Pa had lived, he would have forgiven the assassin. Pa forgave everybody."

    Do you know what will happen if you do not forgive, and if you hold onto your anger toward someone? It has well been said that the person who refuses to forgive his brother destroys the very bridge over which he himself must walk. Furthermore, besides hurting your relationship to God and other person, it will lead to bitterness in your own life. Someone has said, "unresolved anger leads to bitterness." The Scriptures warns in Hebrews 12:15, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble [you], and thereby many be defiled." If you do not exercise the grace of God in your own life, and it you allow bitterness into your life, then Scripture warns that you will bring trouble and spiritual defilement into your life. You’ll lose your joy. You will become an unpleasant person to be around. Lucille Crocker was a joy to be around, right up until the time of her death. She would not hold grudges against anyone. And she was afflicted with cancer, she certainly did not become bitter toward God.

        C. The Applications of Reconciliation

            1. Your Physical Family – These principles regarding anger and reconciliation should certainly be applied to our own families. Three times in our text Jesus uses the term "brother." To term first refers to someone in your own family. How many times that we parents to become angry at our kids, and sit or did things that we later regretted. The many times as this happened to husbands and wives. And in our day, children and teenagers are lashing out at their parents in anger. It is not right! Let us resolve to go forth from this place with the commitment to put these principles in to action in our own homes.

            2. Your Church Family – To our Lord’s audience, the term "brother" referred secondly to a Jewish brother, to someone outside the immediate family. To us the term applies to a Christian brother or sister. These principles certainly apply to our Christian brothers and sisters within our own church family.

            3. Your Friends –

            4. Even Your Enemies (v. 44) -

  To find out how to order more of Pastor Felker's sermon notes or cassette tapes of his messages,  please write to SFelker2@aol.com.
or P.O. Box 235, Colonial Heights, VA 23834

Sunday School | Music Ministry | Childrens Ministry | Special Ed Class  | Our People  Sermon Index |  Back Home

This Page Is Maintained By Mike Woody